What Can I Give You?
by Acepilot6
Summary: The sequel, of sorts, to In The End. Really more of an epilogue. TL. Please review.


**Sorry about this one. Without the lyrics, the end really doesn't have the same impact. It's over at Luke's AGU Boards.**

**_IN THE END_  
What Can I Give You?**  
Acepilot

AN - Well, this is just a little bit overdue, considering it was mean to be released in April. I'm hesitant to call this a sequel. Think of it more as an extensive epilogue. I hope you enjoy it. I'm not entirely happy with it, as I think it's a bit...well, tame, in comparison to "In The End". It was always meant to be - Tommy and Lil's coming together was never meant to be catastrophic and destrcutive like Phil and Kimi's or Chuckie and Angelica's. But now that I've written it, it's exactly what I was aiming for, but not something I'm entirely happy with. I'm eager to hear your opinions on the matter.

And as for the end - you've got to let the song do the talking.

Disclaimer - The AGU characters are property of KlaskyCsupo.

Four years later...

She's radiant.

I know that most people in this situation would be watching the bride and groom. And I have been. Dil's at the piano, Suzie's at a microphone, the pair playing a beautiful love song at the couple's request. And for once, they don't look comical, or bizarre, or anything like that. No, they just look like their in love. And I couldn't be happier for them.

But my gaze keeps sliding over to her.

She's in a beautiful midnight blue gown, sitting next to Suzie with a smile on her face, happy for the two insane lovebirds on the dance floor. And she's amazing.

And I feel guilty for loving her.

I feel a hand tap me on the forearm and I turn on my barstool to come face to face with Phil, who is wearing a knowing look and a sly grin.

For two years - almost three if I'm brutally honest with myself - I hated this man. More than I could describe, really. Phil stole Kimmi from me. Betrayed our friendship, betrayed me, left me broken and alone. I didn't speak to him or Kimmi for more than eighteen months. I almost, almost got away from everyone.

But of course, she had to follow me and drag me back kicking and screaming.

Now, four years down the track, with the benefit of hindsight, I know better than to hate him. Oh sure, I've never really forgiven either of them for what they did. But I understand why they did it. And, with time, I've grown to appreciate that it was better that they do it then, before the wedding, rather than after it, when we were married.

So, two Christmases ago, I allowed myself to be dragged - by her, again - to their annual celebration, and for the first time in what had been an age, I felt like a part of something amazing. A part of my friends again.

And since then, I've managed to re-forge my friendships. Not just with him, but with Kimmi as well.

"You haven't asked her to dance, yet," he points out, nodding toward his sister on the other side of the dance floor.

I nod. "I know."

He nods. "I think you need a reality check. But coming from me it'll sound mean and cold, so I won't do it."

I don't really know what to make of that.

But before he goes, he grasps my upper-arm and leans over to tell me, "Just...keep this in mind - and I'm not trying to rub anything in. Trust me. This is just the advice of one who's been there."

I nod, and wait.

"I'm happy now with Kimmi. But I almost ruined it by waiting. Don't make the same mistake," he suggests, and releases my arm, walking over to where my ex-fiance' sits, carrying a white wine and a glass of lemonade to table 1.

And I sit and wonder at the courage it took for him to do that.

---

_So. This is New York._

I look around my hotel room depressingly and wonder how it came to be like this. How I came to be as far away from home as I can get without actually leaving the country, sitting in an easy chair sipping lightly at a bourbon and coke which will be the only thing I appropriate from the bar-fridge.

I should really start looking for work tomorrow. But hey. I have some time. Maybe I'll finally get a chance to make an indy film, like I always wanted to. "The Concept", a story of a man abandoned.

All thoughts of that are dashed as there's a knock on the door.

"Who's there?" I ask, lazily. The sun is filtering in through the window and making me feel beautifully sloth like.

"Room service," the unseen intruder responds. Female voice.

"I didn't order anything," I tell her, laying back in my chair and trying to think of anything other than Kimi. Films, sports, life...but it all comes back to her.

"Just open the damn door, Tommy!"

I know that voice.

"So, how did you find me?" I ask, kicking my feet up on the coffee table, before she kicks them down onto the floor.

"Kimi still has a key to your apartment. I broke in and ransacked your computer. You did everything from the plane ticket to the hotel reservations electronically, it wasn't that hard to track you down." She sits down in the other easy chair and glares at me.

"Cool. So what are you doing here?"

"I'm dragging your butt back home and helping you sort this all out," she tells me, grabbing my drink and downing a large portion of it in one gulp. Evidently this bravado isn't as easy as she makes it seem.

"Sorry, but I'm not coming. I need some time - "

"Tommy, shut up."

And to my surprise - and hers, it would seem - I do just that. I shut up and wait to hear what she has to say.

"Yes, I understand that what you have just been through was a very traumatic experience. And I don't blame you - no-one blames you - for being mad. But I sat back and watched Phil do this to himself after you and Kimmi got engaged and I'll be damned if I'm going to make the same mistake again." She's fuming. I can almost see the smoke coming out her ears.

I nod. "You don't understand, though. I need to get away from them. From their 'happiness'."

"Do you know what getting away from your happiness did to Phil?" she asks.

"Made him a master of seduction?" I ask, bitterly.

"He became an alcoholic with scars on his wrists," she reminds me, and I wonder how she managed to say that. She doesn't talk about her brother's fall often, if at all. "Tommy, we're all - and I mean all - worried about you. You being all the way over here on the other side of the country isn't going to change anything. But you've got friends who love you - even Kimmi and Phil - and want you to be happy again. So please, come home. Don't do this to yourself, don't cut yourself off. Just...come home, and try to work everything out."

She rises and drops a plane ticket on the coffee table. "I go home three days from now. If I see you at the airport, bags packed, this ticket in hand, then I'll be excruciatingly happy. If you don't come, then I won't try again, I promise."

And she leaves.

I stare at the plane ticket for a very, very long time.

---

"You're going to sit here all night, aren't you?"

"I'm seriously considering it," I tell her.

She nods and reaches over to pat me on the forearm. "Come on, Tommy. We know you've got more guts than that."

I chuckle and nod. "Yeah, I do, don't I?" I sigh slowly, watching her chatting vibrantly with Suzie. "So why can't I show it?"

She leans over and kisses me softly on the cheek. "I know the answer to that, but you're not going to like it."

I grin. "Yes, I think I know the answer. I think Phil already told me."

"He's smart like that," she comments.

I pat her on the back of her hand. "You made a good choice."

"I didn't choose him," she tells me. "I didn't choose anyone. That's just how it happened."

I know. "I feel guilty. Like I'm cheating on you."

She nods. "I never felt so horrible in my life as I did on our wedding day." She pauses for a moment and quirks an eyebrow. "Gee, that seems a bit harsh. Alright, let me rephrase. Even though I loved Phil, I knew - we both knew - that we'd done the wrong thing. We both knew that it was unfair to you. But..." she sighs. "Tommy, we ended four years ago. I don't want you to cling to me anymore."

"I just felt like I should. Maybe I'm on a moral high-horse or something, I don't know."

"Well..."

"Yeah, I know." I sigh softly. "I know."

"Are you going to ask her to dance?" she asks me.

"I don't know."

---

_I'm really trying not to enjoy myself._

Something in me tells me I shouldn't. I shouldn't have fun. I shouldn't enjoy being here, I shouldn't enjoy being a part of this scene. This is their home. This is **their** home. It should have been my home. I shouldn't be here, and I certainly shouldn't be enjoying myself.

So I put the fact that I am feeling warm and fuzzy inside down to the fact that it's Christmas.

I'm really trying to hate them.

Something in my tells me I should. I should hate them for betraying me - her for leaving me at the altar, him for seducing my fiance away from me. I should never forgive them, they shouldn't be together. She should be my wife.

But, no matter how hard I try, I can't anymore.

Because as I watch them, I can't help but smile.

Phil is playing on the rug with a little brown-haired girl who smiles up at him, dimples wide as she watches all around, ripping into anything that comes her way, and Phil is more than happy to provide her with wrapping paper that she demolishes with a smile on her face. She laughs as Angelica tosses a bunched-up ball of paper that bounces of Chuckie's head to land on the floor in front of the girl. Her green eyes sparkle as she chuckles, and it seems to be contagious as everyone, even me, laughs.

I feel a hand land on my shoulder from above. I look up to see Lil draped along the couch that I'm leaning against. She's wearing a sweater that I bought her as a present this year, a cup of coffee in her hands, her hair framing her face. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better," I tell her, quietly, so only she can hear.

"I can understand that," she tells me, squeezing the shoulder that her hand is resting on. "I'm sorry I made you come."

"Don't be," I tell her. "You were right. I had to come."

"Really?" she asks.

"Yeah," I tell her. "This staying away...it wasn't doing me any good. I wasn't getting anywhere by just hating them forever."

"I'm glad you worked that out," she tells me. "No-one was trying to hurt you."

"I know. I just didn't want to believe it. It was easier to hate them than it was to forgive them."

Lil leans down and kisses me on the forehead. "There's the wise old friend I know."

"Old?" I exclaim, quietly.

She chuckles. "Just messing with you, Tommy."

I lean back and she rests her head on mine.

I never realized how much I missed human contact.

"I can't believe I missed the christening," I mutter, watching the little girl with the sparkling eyes.

"I think it hurt them," she tells me. "But I think they'll forgive you."

I nod. "I hope so."

And we sit like that for a while, drinking in the atmosphere around us, and it feels so right that I never want the moment to end.

---

Chuckie sits down next to me, grinning widely as he watches his wife on the dance floor with her father. "She's something, isn't she?"

"I think something is the right word," I agree slyly, giving my best friend a sideways glance. "I just can't believe it all worked out for you guys in the end."

"I didn't think it ever would," he agrees. "It just seemed so...hard, and wrong. But we fought on, we worked it out."

"I'm glad for you," I tell him, "but I still feel sorry for you that you've managed to pledge your life allegiance to my cousin, of all people."

He laughs. "Well, what about you, Tommy? Anyone on your Valentines card list?"

"Not you, too," I groan, burying my face in my hands. "Why is everyone determined to hook me up with someone?"

"Because you could use some quality companionship," Chuckie tells me. "And besides, you know, Lil's single..."

"Yes, I know that Lil is single."

"And she does like you quite a bit."

"I'd worked that out, yes."

"So..."

I shake my head slowly. "No, I don't think so."

"Do I need to get my wife over here to talk some sense into you?"

I shake my head more rapidly this time. "Please no. Look, just because I'm not with anyone doesn't mean I'm unhappy. I'm in a better place now in my life than I have been in...years. I don't need to be in a relationship."

"Don't need or afraid of?"

"What!" He's lost me completely now.

"You've only had a few really serious relationships in your life," he points out. "And the most serious one of them all ended badly. So I'm not surprised that you're afraid of committing yourself again. But Tommy..." he trails off, and I follow his gaze to see him watching my cousin yet again. "What happened with me and Angelica was painful, Tommy. Very long and painful. And I almost - almost - didn't take her back. That day she came to house in disarray, I almost told her to leave without listening to her. I think Phil might have done the same thing with Kimi. But Tommy, never giving anyone a chance because you've gotten hurt before...it's just going to leave you depressed and alone. Don't let what happened with Kimi keep you from trying to be with Lil. You two could be so happy together. You can love someone else, Tommy. You just have to let yourself."

"A big hand for the father of the bride, please," Suzie announces from the stage, before nodding to Phil, who rises from behind table one and wanders over to the stage to join her and Dil. "We'd like to see some more people dancing to this one, if it's not too much trouble."

And Dil, Chuckie, Phil, Kimi, Suzie and Angelica's gazes all seem to rest on me, for just a moment. Then they're looking innocently in all directions. Phil picks up and acoustic, exchanging some banter with Dil that doesn't carry to Suzie's microphone. My little brother laughs and starts tapping out some random notes.

Chuckie almost pushes me out of my seat. "That's your cue, Tommy."

"This is a conspiracy," I mutter, but, obediently, not fully in control of my body, it would seem, I rise from my chair and walk over to her, sweating quietly every step of the way, but still marching forever onward.

I see Phil nod at me, grinning as he starts picking out an intro, I see Suzie offer me a look of encouragement, I see Dil make a hurry-up motion with his hands, I see Angelica give me a knowing smirk, and I see her.

The girl who dragged me out of my self-imposed depression, the girl who kicked me into gear when I was desperately trying to fall. The girl who offered me everything to help me and never expected anything in return. A girl who helped me because she wanted to, because she cared that much. A girl who, despite my best judgment, despite all efforts to the contrary, I fell in love with.

So I ask Lillian DeVille to dance with me.

---

thank you for reading. please review.


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